


Jedi Nightmares

by Sulis57



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Acceptance, Comfort, Comfort/Angst, Crying, Dreams and Nightmares, Emotional, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Jedi, Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi, Jedi Temple, Jedi Training, Master & Padawan Relationship(s), Nightmares, Padawan, Padawan Anakin Skywalker, Poor Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon - Freeform, Qui-Gon Jinn - Freeform, Young Anakin, Young Anakin Skywalker
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-11
Updated: 2017-07-11
Packaged: 2018-11-30 19:15:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11469942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sulis57/pseuds/Sulis57
Summary: It's been about 3 months since Qui-Gon was killed. Obi-Wan is struggling with nightmares, desperately missing his Master, while Anakin is trying to conquer his own fear. An emotional, fluffy piece where Kenobi wakes in the middle of the night and hears his Padawan having a bad dream in the other room. Obi-Wan battles his emotions while helping Anakin navigate his own. Lots of fluff, angst, and love.Kenobi finally understood that Anakin needed him, he needed structure and Obi-Wan needed to do better for the sake of this little innocent life. And he realized that he needed Anakin. The boy was all he had left now. Wishing Qui-Gon was alive would not bring him back. He only had one direction to live – forward. He must move forward.





	Jedi Nightmares

**Author's Note:**

> Hi Friends! I honestly don't know where this story came from. It just poured out of me and I couldn't stop it. It's a little bit rough, kind of unpolished, but I think it suits this story.
> 
> I have always wondered what the beginning of Anakin and Obi-Wan's relationship was like. I can only imagine it was a bit rocky. But I also imagine Obi-Wan was sensitive to his Padawan's needs despite having a pupil thrust upon him before he was even a Jedi Knight, all while trying to mourn Qui-Gon... Guess this is what happens when I have insomnia...
> 
> Hope you enjoy.
> 
> As always, kudos and comments are welcome!!!
> 
> Much love!

Obi-Wan was having a nightmare. He was screaming on the edge of a black precipice, looking down into a swirling storm. Qui-Gon had fallen down into the chaos and Obi-Wan knew there was no way for him to get his master back, no way to reach into the abyss and rescue him.

He thrashed awake, sobbing, his eyes wet with tears. He sat on the edge of the bed, his elbows on his knees, his hands over his face while he held his breath, not wanting his crying to wake Anakin in the next room. He reflected on the depth of his grief, how desperately he missed Qui-Gon, how there was a dark empty place where his master’s Force signature used to be, how there was an empty place in the room that Qui-Gon’s large form used to fill. Nothing could have prepared Obi-Wan for the loss. There was no preparation, no warning; Qui-Gon was just gone. Obi-Wan meditated often trying to release his grief, but it would sneak up on him, ever present in the back of his mind, rising to the surface most especially when he was asleep.

Obi-Wan was overwhelmed by the questions his master would never be able to answer. If only he had fought better, cleaner, Qui-Gon may not have tired or let his guard down. Why were his last words only of Anakin? Didn’t Obi-Wan mean anything to him? Was his master dissatisfied with him? Is that why he was ready to push him aside for Anakin? How was he supposed to train _The Chosen One_ when he was so consumed with sadness? He felt unworthy to be a Jedi much less to train a potential vergence.

Obi-Wan was unable to get his emotions under control. He sat in the dark while tears streamed down his cheeks. After a moment, he heard a sound from Anakin’s room. The boy cried out for his mother, then for Master Qui-Gon. Obi-Wan pushed up and walked into his Padawan’s bedroom. He knelt down next to Anakin’s bed and watched the little boy squirming in his sleep, sweaty and crying. Obi-Wan roughly wiped the tears from his own eyes and internally berated himself. He suddenly realized that this little boy was too young to carry demons, that Obi-Wan should be doing more to help him control his fears. Kenobi was also struck by the realization that Anakin must be picking up on Obi-Wan’s nightmares through their bond.

His heart melted with regret and empathy. He reached out and placed a hand on Anakin’s back, bowing his head and closing his eyes. Using the Force Obi-Wan soothed the boy, taking hold of Anakin’s fear and replacing it with calm, quiet gentleness. He absorbed Anakin’s spikey, thrashing emotions, kicking up another wave of grief in the older Jedi. Obi-Wan quickly left the room to let the boy sleep, carrying both their agony in his heart.

He pushed open the window in the living room letting the cold night air in. He stood, stony-eyed while tears continued down his cheeks. All he wanted was for Qui-Gon to walk through the door.

“Master?” Anakin was sniffling in the doorway.

Obi-Wan only half turned to him, not wanting his Padawan to see him crying. He did not want to add to Anakin’s fears. He knew he needed to be stable and steady in order for Anakin to grow up safe and confident. “What is it, Padawan?” he asked gently, once he was certain his voice was under control.

“I had a bad dream…” Anakin was trying to be brave but was obviously upset.

“What did you dream?”

“About my mother and Master Qui-Gon. I lost them and I couldn’t find them anywhere.”

Obi-Wan nodded and looked back out the window.

Anakin came and stood next to him. The boy looked up at Obi-Wan’s face in the dark. “I climbed up on a high cliff to try and see them, but when I got to the top there was nothing but darkness. I was afraid I would slip and fall over the edge. The darkness seemed to go on forever and ever…” Anakin’s chest began to heave again as he tried to suppress another sob.

Obi-Wan was moved by how similar their dreams were. He reached down and took Anakin’s hand in his. He wanted to do more but he was struggling to control himself; Anakin had walked in on his most vulnerable moment. He could feel Anakin’s small hand shaking inside his large one. “It was only a dream, young one.”

“It felt so real…”

Obi-Wan felt his Padawan’s tears rain down on their intertwined fingers. Finally he looked down at the boy and saw the small blonde head bent forward as he cried. Obi-Wan immediately scooped Anakin up into his arms and held him tightly. The boy wrapped his arms around Obi-Wan’s neck and rested his cheek on his master’s shoulder.

Kenobi finally understood that Anakin needed him, he needed structure and Obi-Wan needed to do better for the sake of this little innocent life. And he realized that he needed Anakin. The boy was all he had left now. Wishing Qui-Gon was alive would not bring him back. He only had one direction to live – forward. He must move forward.

“It’s alright, Padawan. I know you’re afraid.” His voice broke a little. “But when you’re feeling this way, I want you to slow down and think only about the moment you’re in. Try it with me now.” Anakin’s arms tightened around Obi-Wan’s neck. “Think only of this room. Think about how you and I are standing here together.” He felt Anakin’s sobs calm, felt him take a deep breath. “We’re in our home. There is no danger. We are safe right here and now.” Tears silently fell from Kenobi’s lashes as he tried to find comfort in his own words. “There is no sickness. There is no anger. There is just you and me.” Obi-Wan squeezed his eyes shut and rested his forehead against the little boy’s hair. He felt Qui-Gon slip away, as though he finally accepted that he had to let him go.

Anakin was perceptive. He pushed back and saw his master crying. “Master, are you alright?”

Obi-Wan looked right in his Padawan’s eyes. “I will not lie to you, Anakin. My heart… is broken.”

“Because of Master Qui-Gon?”

“Yes. I miss him very much.”

Anakin placed his hands on Obi-Wan’s shoulders. “You had to watch him die.”

“Yes.” It came out in a whisper.

“I think my heart would break if I had to watch you die, Master.”

Obi-Wan’s chest heaved. “I hope that will never happen, Anakin.”

Anakin reached out and wiped Obi-Wan’s tears away with his little hand. It was the beginning of Kenobi’s healing. He had been looking in all the wrong places for relief. He was grateful to finally see that Anakin was the companion he needed. The Force had brought them together just as it had brought him and Qui-Gon together.

“You are safe with me, Padawan. I will do my best to care for you. I’m sorry that you’ve been having nightmares. I will teach you how to control your fear. You’re afraid for your mother, aren’t you?”

Anakin nodded, worry returning to his eyes.

“Do you think of her everyday?”

“Yes.”

“Every night before you fall asleep?”

“Yes.”

“Do you always feel afraid when you think of her?”

Anakin sniffed. “Almost always. I’m just afraid she’s lonely without me and that Watto is being mean to her.”

“There is no way to trick your mind into believing what your heart does not think is true. You would be foolish to pretend your mother is safe just as I would be foolish to tell myself Qui-Gon should still be alive. Telling ourselves lies is only going to do us a disservice. We will be living in a fantasy world. As Jedi, our job is to help people and bring peace. If our minds are lost in confusion, we cannot do our jobs.”

Anakin nodded. “I understand that. But I’m afraid of not thinking of her. I don’t want to forget her. I don’t want to pretend like she doesn’t exist just so I stop worrying about her.”

Obi-Wan was astounded by the depth of his Padawan’s emotional maturity. “That is very wise. I too have no wish to forget my master, but I cannot go on feeling this kind of pain. Don’t you agree?”

“Yes.”

“Together, we will learn to face our grief, and together we will honor our loved ones by using the Force to bring goodness to the galaxy.”

Anakin hugged Obi-Wan fiercely. “But you promise I don’t have to forget her?”

Obi-Wan pressed his cheek to the top of Anakin’s head. “I promise, Padawan.”

Eventually, Obi-Wan told Anakin to go back to bed. The boy turned and suddenly stopped in his tracks staring at the door to his bedroom. Kenobi saw a shiver run through Anakin. “Can I sleep with you, Master? Just for tonight?” he asked quietly.

Obi-Wan was fighting his own fear of being alone. “Yes, just for tonight.”

Anakin jumped into Obi-Wan’s bed and nestled down under the blankets. Obi-Wan sat across the narrow cot, his back against the wall, his legs crossed in front of him. Anakin snuggled up against him, tucking himself along his master’s side. He fell asleep quickly as Obi-Wan stroked his hair. Obi-Wan stayed that way all night, gently dozing, watching over the boy, calming him anytime he showed signs of fitful sleep.


End file.
